more on my trip

The last post I made about my trip mentioned signs, and the lack thereof. I want to elaborate on that observation, however.

In other, non-governmental, non-metallic ways, there were signs everywhere.

As I pulled into Colorado, I was hot and sticky. My less than stellar evening in Hays Kansas had made me a little grumpy, and after 2 coffees in two different McDonalds (where, by the way, they make you choose how much creamer and how much sugar you want in advance -- I hate that. Don't let a teenager open creamer and sugar into my coffee. Can't a person be in control of their own creamer and sugar? Is it a flipping crime to decide as you're making it? I'm just saying), I was ready for a break and time to stretch my legs. So I pulled into the Colorado welcome center. There on the lawn was a mini exhibit about Colorado birding trails.

I laughed out loud. How perfect was that? When your future plans call for birding trails and people to explore them, how nice is it that the state advertises for you, and for free? So I walked around. I practically took a shower in the restroom, and I signed the guest book. I dare you to drop by one time and see if my name's still there. I bet they haven't changed out that guest book in months, you'll have plenty of time.

I mentioned last time that signs are comforting, and they are. Maybe there are more logical ways to find assurance, like research and tests and trials and experiments. But aren't I doing most of that anyway? I want to give myself the best shot for success when I hit the road. So I'm reducing overhead, educating myself and getting the house spiffed up. Slowly but steadily, I am filling the financial hole I dug for myself and with each scoop I add, I'm standing on higher ground. Pretty soon I will be able to stand on level ground and spot all the things I've been missing. And while things might feel like they're going a little slow right now because most of my resources are targeting one area, when that task has been accomplished, I will be able to take off at rocket speeds.

So I'm not a person who shakes a talisman at a problem and hopes it resolves itself. When I figure out what I want, I can do more than yearn for it. I can plan. There are times when working for it may not feel worth the effort. At the moment, I think I may be the only person who wants me to do this. The most encouraging thing I get from my parents right now is, "Nothing that you're doing right now is bad." So for me, signs are comforting. They bridge the gap. If I had been driving through Colorado three years ago, before I had an idea of what I wanted to do, that bird exhibit would have meant little to me.

Now that I have direction, I find signs all along the way.

-Laura