Legacy

The father of a friend of mine passed away Sunday. I found out because he posted the information within hours on facebook. In the note, he said he hoped he'd be half the man his father was.

I've been thinking about that for the past few days, wondering what it would be like to lose your father before you've reached adulthood yourself. Of course in many circles, a guy still in college qualifies as an adult, but most of us of a certain age know just how unprepared for life you are at that age. I know there has to be that thought in the back of his mind that says to him, you know, I want to make my dad proud, but when I am the one guiding my own ship without any advice from my dad, where will I steer it?

Joe's father was an older man, and I still see them in my mind's eye, walking into the sanctuary for mass. I often get a good view of people as they find their seats, because I cantor regularly, which puts me in a position to face the congregation. Before Joe left for college, they'd arrive together, Joe steadying his father as the man made his way slowly and painfully to the very last pew in the back, the last row on my left. Our sanctuary is rounded in the back, so this pew is smaller than the ones flanking the center aisle. I assumed he chose it so that he and Joe could sit alone, and so that he could get in and out more easily when it was time to come forward to receive communion. I always smiled at Joe if I could catch his eye, because I often thought how kind Joe was to match his pace to his father's pace, and be so attentive.

I think Joe must wish to have those days back now, because the alternative, to be without a father, must feel like hanging suspended over a canyon, knowing there is nothing tying you to the earth, knowing you are seconds from a free fall.

Sure, that feeling has to fade with time, with the experience of making decisions and defining yourself without the guidance of a parent. But it's my guess that it never goes away.

John Henry, rest in peace.

--Laura

Random Wednesday

In stark contrast to last week, this week has been without turmoil. My car passed emissions, work has been steady, and I've made more headway toward paying off my student loan ahead of schedule.

Plus, tomorrow is my birthday.

Birthdays for adults aren't the same as for kids, eagerly awaiting the excesses of toys and sugar and party games. I think for me, they serve as reminders, as a time for evaluation and assessment, and as a way to set milestones. For example, I spent one birthday with friends in a plaza in Madrid. This year, I will spend it with friends in a restaurant in Buckhead.

There is special significance to my birthday this year. I decided in the last few days to tailor my original statement about being in Colorado by 2009. I looked at my driver's license as I was driving home a few days ago and I realized that it will expire on my birthday next year. So I decided to be more specific. I decided that I will not renew this driver's license. My next license will be from Colorado, and I will celebrate my birthday there. It will take some time before I know if I will make my birthday with months to spare or if I will make it by the skin of my teeth. We'll just see.

I suppose it sounds sentimental to set a goal like that around your birthday. First, I'll tell you that I did it because I'm realistically on track to make it happen. Even after months, I am still on track to pay off debt #1 by January. Clearing debt #1 will free up reserves for debt #2.

I realize that clearing debt doesn't get me moved, but I've made progress there as well. I've spoken to someone who is buying homes in the area, not to fix up and sell, but to fix up and rent. It turns out that this economy has required many people to rent because they can't qualify for loans. It turns out, there are property managers out there who will take care of my property, and it turns out that I can afford them. As I was saying to my mother, heck, I'd love to have those people manage my property NOW. The point however, is that I'm no longer worried about the house. It will rent until it can be sold. I will put it in hands more capable than my own to maintain it, and I will move. The house will not hold me back.

Will I transfer with my company or get a new job? Well, hand me $150K and I'd buy a franchise in one lucky Colorado city, set up shop and live off ramen until the business began to prosper. Odds are, however, that not only will no one hand me $150K, but no business started right now to sell birdwatching supplies would prosper. But I realized one thing recently. I really don't need to wait for market conditions to begin my life. I can pinch pennies just as well in CO as I can in GA. How exactly will I do this? I don't know, today. All I know is that I will do it. With debt#1 and debt#2 gone, I will need a lot less to live on for a while, and that will help. A job will not hold me back.

So I refined my arrival date to "by October 2009" because I realistically believe I can manage it alone. But I'll tell you, I don't mind if the goal is a little sentimental too. I'm a sentimental person. As much as I like taking care of business with my head on straight, I also like being cared for. Because, the truth is, while I can do this alone, with discipline to pay off these debts and courage to put my house in the hands of a property manager, I don't want to do this next year alone. I'm sure I will need the patience and support and encouragement of those who love me, because there's something I believe is true: if those who love me will have some faith in me and invest in me this year, I will be richer than if I'd been handed $150K. And I sincerely believe that they will be too. By a longshot.

So on the eve of my birthday -- to all those who've been a gift and a blessing in my life this year -- I love you. Thank you for all the support you've given me. I hope I have done the same. Here's to another year.

- Laura

Bird Identification

This weekend I discovered the Chattahoochee Nature Center. I'm already a fan.

The Nature Center starts as a place to rehab wild animals who've been abandoned at birth or have been injured. The layout reminds me of a summer camp for kids, with lots of flat areas to play and have picnics, and old fashioned wooden directional signs. In fact, quite a few kids were there. As I arrived, there was even a birthday party going on. I imagined how a kid would feel wandering through all the critters which were immediately available for viewing. Because before you even leave the nature store, you can visit snakes and turtles. A steps beyond, there's a butterfly garden that's swarming with butterflies of all sizes and colors. Some, unfortunately, were incredibly camera shy.

Beyond the butterfly garden, the raptor display, with hawks, owls, an eagle with exhibitionist tendencies and slinking vultures. These guys can't be reintroduced to the wild, for whatever reason. And circling through their pens are dozens and dozens of smaller perching birds. I was even able to see them with the naked eye. I wrote down some physical features, and I've been trying to identify them since Saturday.

One was simple to identify - I saw a cardinal. But I also saw what I think was an eastern kingbird. There was also a black one with a red racing stripe along his eye, and another one with beautiful row after row of white on black stripes on his wings. I don't know what they were -- yet. I'll get introduced to them in good time. It's okay, because when I wasn't sure what I was looking at, there were always the clearly labeled fellas - the barred owl, the turkey vulture, the red-shouldered hawk -- to keep me company.

That and the lazy beaver of unusual proportions. He lifted one eye haughtily at me as I disturbed his sleep.

And after my walk through the wetland marshes, where I spotted a great blue heron and canada geese, I returned and he was swimming. Pesky thing.

They have scientists there. Toward the end of the month they will have a bird walk.

I will be there. Let's see what I learn.

--Laura

The Greenie in Me

I have a fundamental problem with the passing of the analog television. For example, my current television, the largest I've ever owned, is perfectly fine. Turns on. Turns off. Changes channels. Plays DVDs.

Why would you toss it?

I sent away for the TV Converter box coupon. I guess around February I'll go out and get the box and see how that works. The boxes are expected to be between $50-$70, but the cards take $40 off that price.

Some out there will use this as an excuse to get that lovely new television set you've had your eye on whenever you've wandered into Best Buy. I understand.

But should you choose this option, remember the poor little analog television. Be kind. Perhaps you can Repurpose it -- put it in the back bedroom and attach the DVD player to it for the kids. Donate the television to any charitable organization that will accept it. Recycle it -- contact your local hazardous waste and recycling program. When you're buying the new television, ask the retailer if they will take and recycle the old set for you.

Another option is to check out Earth 911. They list manufacturer-specific recycling programs.

Other programs include: My Green Electronics, and the National Recycling Coalition. Some of these allow you to search for electronics recyclers by zip code.

Don't put our friendly analog out at the curb. Do your part to keep those TV parts out of the landfills. If you don't think it's worth a little extra effort, read this article from the Environmental Law & Policy Center.

--Laura