Ruts

So, have you ever had this feeling? The one where the one person you wanted approval and respect from more than just about anyone, actually thinks you're despicable? Or mean? Or a moron? And you know for sure they feel this way? And they know that you know?

Okay. Hold onto that feeling for a minute. Feel the shame wash over you, as you realize that in their eyes, you're the Other. You're the person they joke about to their real friends; they joke about you to people they DO find cool. And you can't shake it off because this isn't a school chum or a bully, or someone you can taunt with "I'm rubber and you're glue and what you say bounces off ME and sticks to YOU."

Because this goes deeper. This isn't a casual thing, this is a Big Thing. And what comes with this feeling, I think, is the terrible realization that you are More Alone Than You Previously Believed.

Just wondering.

--Laura