a little fun

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wondering

In the new year, I tend to take stock and set goals, it's just my style. So, taking stock. Retiring my debt in October, I'm now halfway toward my savings goal. There's more volume at work than ever. Adjusting my weekend schedule has opened time I devote to normal tasks to prepare for the next week, and special ones too, like consolidating my belongings, packing, and learning about investing and business plans.
I've been eating whole foods instead of meals from boxes in the frozen food section. I'm learning birds. I'm learning investing, business and how to find funding in Colorado, and specifically in Longmont.
So what about the big question: Employment? Almost every day I check for the job listings being advertised locally. And it makes me wonder about changes, and if I can handle them with flexibility.
Is my searcing a little premature? Maybe, but what does it hurt to look? So what about a driver for a dairy? Or a position with Burns Marketing Communications? What about a live-in position? The jobs cross the spectrum. And I have to admit. I like that. It leads me to wonder just what's out there.

--Laura

When the last straw breaks the camel's back, do you blame the last straw... or the first?

gathering info from the open forum

When I get a chance, I check in on the council members with the city of Longmont, via the videos on their website. This task is not for the weak. This month, they had an open forum, which I find a long but interesting way to hear about some of the major issues and questions about development, always a good thing for me to educate myself about.

So, a few observations:
Is Union Reservoir *really* the only place a crowd of people can attend an outdoor concert? Aren't there other open spaces in Longmont? One reader of the Times-Call however, suggested that people park in one area with a shuttle service, right through downtown on the way to the concerts. I thought that sounded like shameless self-promotion, and a good idea.
I thought the council made a good decision to say no to the solar energy rebate. Some might be surprised I feel that way, given that I've written our own governor about the scant few opportunities for Georgians to invest in renewable energy. However, 150K is a lot for town to front before receiving matching funds. Chris Rodriguez might be smug, and his blog might be kind of harsh, but I agree that there are numerous things people can do to lower heating and electricity costs via conservation before they ever call a solar installer. I'm also not sure why the focus is on solar only, as opposed to wind and geothermal. Personally, I would love to invest in geothermal for this house, though I wonder if the geological makeup of Colorado makes geothermal less attractive.
However, it was clear that the debate within the council was pretty evenly split, and in watching the dynamics within the group, I was able to get a general impression of the veteran and new councilmembers. What I think so far:
Bryan Baum, Mayor: Really really polite. Really really big head. Astonishingly good hair. Not to mention the alliteration in the name. Verdict: Absolutely no idea.
Alex Sammoury: I disagreed with a comment he made, on how the city planned to increase the number of households using renewable energy. He said that, given the number they needed, "doing this 10 households at a time just isn't going to get us there." Well, how else does he plan to get Colorado there, but a few at a time? Verdict: Undecided.
Katie Witt: Okay, I know she was voted in to break up some liberal voting bloc within the council, but.... really? I'm going to be frank, she registers high on the twit meter. When discussing the solar rebate, she alluded to a neighbor who made a solar cell for $80 for a science project, saying she felt subsidies led to the high cost of solar. Eh? Not to mention, she couldn't even remember councilmember Sammoury's name, and they have nameplates in front of each of them. Great hair though, seriously. Verdict: Not Impressed.
Brian Hansen: Brian seems polite enough. That aside, he scored higher in ECON 101, for pointing out that a drop in solar prices comes from increased volume, owing to more people buying solar systems. Hence a pro-subsidiy position. I would assume he voted for the rebate. Being on the Energy Strategy Task Force must give him enough data to make an informed decision. Still, he seemed to defer to the final vote of the council. Having opposing opinions is kind of the point of diversity on the council, if at the end, the members can agree to abide by the vote. So, Verdict: OK so far.
Gabe Santos: Honestly, I didn't get enough of a feel for him to form an opinion. I notice however that he seemed ready to capitalize on the shift in the makeup of the council this year, as in their regular meeting, he wanted to reintroduce topics that had already been presented during the previous administration. Verdict: Undecided.
Sean McCoy: No idea, he didn't contribute much. Verdict: Undecided.
Sarah Levison: So I'm guessing Sarah was also part of the liberal voting bloc in place before the last election. I can see why she upsets conservatives. She has strong opinions. She's well-spoken. She seems to have a solid understanding of the technical rules of order. And she unapologetically wants to fund every project which comes before the council. There were things I liked about her and things I didn't. For example, does she have to talk ALL the time? It must be exhausting to be in meetings with her. Having said that, there were some real looneybirds at the open forum, and she was respectful to them. I automatically admire people who are more polite than I am. So what do I say about someone like Sarah, particularly when I think of myself as a liberal? Verdict: I am glad she's not the ONLY person on the council. I think when choosing projects to gain city/council support, it's important to evaluate the difference between public responsibility and private responsibility. She needs someone to balance her. But am I glad she's there? Yes, I am.

monday

Are there times when you just miss people so much?
Yeah, me too.

we miss the sun

we miss the sun, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

This wasn't taken today.
Today it was raining heavily. Sometime in the morning, I took the two hounds for a long walk, almost an hour, and we came back damp from the mist. The dogs don't linger around the open door when there's no sun.
So the kitchen has been clean, dirty, clean, dirty and now finally clean again. And the fridge is full of pot roast, cassoulet, and stuffed cabbage rolls. I am feeling pretty smugly feminine NOW, even if I did give my friend a ride in exchange for a fish sandwich.

air time

Last night as I enjoyed a cup of cocoa, a Great Horned owl announced himself, so loud he sounded like he was sitting on my roof. The dogs were startled and I turned off the light in the livingroom for some reason I can't explain. I guess it just felt like the thing to do, to give the night hunter the best shot possible of finding his prey.

So I stepped outside, the dogs left behind though they wanted to follow me. And when the door squeaked open and shut, the owl's call stopped. So I stood on my porch with my binoculars and waited for the fog and the quiet to settle around me again.

And then, after a brief hush, there he was. Unfortunately, I was unable to spot him. I'm sure he spotted me.

Strange thing about owls - they aren't as nice as you'd imagine. They are designed to hunt and few things deter them. They eat other owls, they eat other raptors, ospreys and falcons. They are the only animal out there who regularly eats skunks. In fact, they are so disruptive in the bird world that crows will gang up on them by the hundreds to mob them, sometimes yelling at them for hours.

He wasn't suffering from that situation last night. He and I were on our own, and he had a much better chance of ending up with dinner than I did. I can't help but listen for him now, at the end of each evening.

--Laura

weird lessons about being not quite feminine enough

Yesterday, my coworker left his car with the dealership for repairs and rode into work. I asked how it went and he explained that the trip took 2 hours, as he needed to get a bus, transfer to a train, get on another bus which was faulty, cutting off every few hundred yards.
After listening for a moment, I offered to drive him to the dealership, saving him another 2 hours on the return ride. He thanked me, and said he'd definitely buy my lunch the next day to say thanks. I appreciated this, especially considering that I knew his parents were helping him with the repairs, occuring so soon after spending money to repair his car after having an accident on the snow.
As we walked out the door that evening, we passed two female coworkers in the hall. One smiled and said, "Oh, you got a ride to the train station?" I told them I was taking him to the dealership, though joked that he hadn't been really clear about where it was.
"Oh my goodness, I would never do that," she remarked. I agreed that I was really nice and that he was getting me lunch the next day.
"You need to bring in something else too," the other said, "because those burgers off the dollar menu are pretty small!" We exchanged a few more jokes, then we left.
Today, this act of mine was the topic of conversation for quite some time. Only, it turns out that my actions were the cause of some great concern. First, I got an instant message, saying that the two coworkers I mentioned earlier were going to a nice local restaurant for lunch, a place we often take customers. They wanted to know if I wanted to order something THERE, something the recipient of my kindness would pay for. I declined. A few minutes later, she was back at my desk.
"Are you sure? We're going now. Are you sure?" I repeated that I was fine.
"Laura, if he had asked me to do that, I would have made him take me to Red Lobster the next day, and that would be if I'd taken him to the train station." I noted that I didn't think she would have taken him to the dealership.
"Well you notice that he didn't ask me, did he?" I nodded, then told her I respected her for getting as much out of men as she could, and that I needed to take some lessons in being High Maintenance from her.
Thing is, she agreed. "Yes, but you'd just need to move into my house for a little while. Like when all those people go on Big Brother. You'd be easy to train though, because you don't have a husband who'd try to push you right back down. You'd learn quickly."
I think this was the first time that doing a favor for a friend made me feel like I'd let down the entire Female Gender. Am I really supposed to feel that sense of entitlement over what people owe me for my acts of kindness, and just because I have tah-tahs? I don't. So did I lose Girl Points because I let my coworker make the offer himself, to treat me to something he could afford, rather than require something elaborate because I require, in my female coworker's words, "roses and not thorns," in exchange for my favors? You tell me.

--Laura

putting things on paper

The weather has been less than ideal the past couple of months. Yesterday was one of the nicer days lately, and I was working. Rain is supposed to come in Wednesday night, which means it will flood. Did I mention our governor prayed on the courthouse steps during the drought? Have I mentioned how I think it's time for him to take it back?
Anyway, since tonight was probably the last nice evening before a new batch of rain, I got out of work a little early and drove by Mt Harmony Cemetery, where our friend Harold B. is buried. I blew him a kiss as I drove by, then entered the back of the property. There's a pond there, at the bottom of a steep hill and halfway up the hill is a small road where I like to park. From there I walk around the property, trying to be quiet enough to coax the birds from hiding.
I think it would help if I wore tennis shoes instead of dress shoes from work. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICKCLICKCLICK kind of makes an entrance in the middle of a quiet urban cemetery.
I know I could tell you I saw ANYTHING, because I wasn't able to get any birdie pictures, but I saw, for the first time, a Belted Kingfisher. You can rest assured that I saw one though. I confirmed from the bird call and from a visual. How can you mistake a bird with a hairstyle like that? He was really mad that I was there.
I haven't spoken about my plans lately, but I have been putting things on paper, thanks to www.SCORE.org and their online templates. The most daunting form is the Dreaded Business Plan. This template has about 150 questions, and when you answer them, those answers form the basis of your business narrative.
So here's a few facts you may not know: There are 46 million birders in the U.S. They generate $32 billion in retail sales. This creates $85 billion in overall economic output, meaning that if, for example, someone goes birding at a local reservoir, they pay the fees to get into the reservoir, and buy water and sandwiches for the trip. With this, birders generate $13 billion in state and federal income taxes and result in 863,406 jobs created.
I'm of the opinion that I could at least pay my rent (or future mortgage) with some of that.

--Laura

How do you make soup for 600?

How do you make soup for 600?, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

In Atlanta, MLK weekend is a big deal, maybe like it is nowhere else. On Monday, people from my customer's company will gather in darkened parking lots. They will team with Hands On Atlanta as they do each year. They will will get t-shirts and their orders for the day. They will meet at schools and nursing homes and parks. They will paint, clean and plant.

My employer does not do this. If I want to be out for MLK Day, this Monday, I will need to use a vacation day. So this morning, I woke up at 5:30am. Was I reluctant? You bet. Mollie heard the alarm, wiggled up next to me and rested her head adoringly on my belly.

You don't have to go somewhere, do you? her expression seemed to say. Mollie, let's stay here where it's warm. Help me think of an excuse to skip today.

Tell them I ate your homework. I will take one for the team. But then came the text message: ARE YOU UP? I replied: AGAINST EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING. My friend Stacy answers: JESUS LOVES YOU.

So I drove to a dark parking lot, met up with 4 others, and we drove into the city. We took our own aprons, we took our own potatoes, we took our own knives. Our task? We made soup. It was my first time.

The Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Atlanta runs what they have named the St. Francis Table. If you go to their website and look at their ministries page, you'll find a lot to be impressed with. They run this ministry on Saturdays, and in partnership with another church across the street, they run a night shelter for men, which includes a running club, a yoga class and a footcare ministry. Why a soup kitchen on Saturdays? Well, in their own words: ...there was a void in food for the hungry on Saturday. Monday through Friday, St. Luke’s provides food to the hungry, on Sunday, Trinity Methodist provides food, but there was nothing available on Saturday. As a result, St. Francis Table was started to feed the hungry each Saturday.

They take donations for this Saturday meal. There were platters of pizza and desserts. Those go in bags for the guests to take with them for later. But with their funds, they also purchase meat and other items from the Atlanta Food Bank. And that's what goes into the soup.

So today, I shredded chicken and steak and pork and some potatoes. It all went into the pot. And when it was time to dish it out for the guests, we poured the soup over noodles and wild rice from some of the fancier restaurants in Atlanta to end up in styrofoam cups. Normally, they'd go into bowls and the guests would have a sit down meal served by volunteers. Today there were some scheduling conflicts, so the guests were fed buffet style.

Did this event change my life? Hard to say, because I was struck by how ordinary it was. Today I made eye contact with homeless men, some whose only disease was hunger, some whose diseases extended deeper than that. But they didn't look away and neither did I and when they realized I wasn't afraid of them, some shared a smile with me. And we were ordinary together.

And that's how we made that pot of soup really stretch.

--Laura

meanwhile, observations about southern snow

Around here, we aren't used to lingering cold weather. Lingering heat, yeah sure. It can go weeks at a time where it's so hot you want to shoot yourself, where the contemplation of the walk from the parking lot to the air conditioned office makes your thighs sweat.
But here, when it snows, the sunlight is supposed to kill it.
Not this week. It snowed Friday and it's still here today. It will probably be here tomorrow too. On Thursday and Friday, the store was out of cheap bread, milk and beer. I missed that, but friends sent cell phone pictures. Today, I am the beeotch who scored the last 2 boxes of sugar free cocoa. If you shop at the Kroger on Floyd Road, well, it sucks to be you. I will loan you a packet, I probably didn't need 2 boxes.
So, observations about southern snow. First, it always involves ice, so I have to take issue with all my new colleagues from Minnesota who think we're idiots. Sure, it's not snow stacked to the rooftops, but driving in it is challenging, okay? For example: ice and curves. For example: ice and hills. For example: ice and brakes. I've done fine with it. Great, in fact. But it's slippery, so be quiet if your snow never melts until April. I don't want to hear your lip.
Second, schedules go in the toilet when it snows. For example, I have no idea when the trash will be picked up again. Normally, if your trash day falls on a holiday, which mine has the last 2 weeks, they pick up the next day. It gets straight the following week. Well, not this week. Not last week. Not the week prior to that. My trash can is full. I'm glad it hasn't been hot. They may have forgotten us. It gives you a mildly disconnected feeling. Well, as disconnected as you can be about trash, I suppose.
Third, when your sinuses clog up, and they will, Burt's Bees chapstick gives off a pleasant soothiness (my word) that opens you up again. It's like Vick's Vapor Rub, only your tah tahs don't get sticky.
Forth, and I can't stress this enough: dressing in layers really does work. You'd never believe it, but it's absolutely true.
Fifth, birds are slower and easier to photograph in the cold weather. Note to self: remember to close the kitchen door when trying to get a picture of the male Ruby Crowned Kinglet with the actual ruby crown. Otherwise, the dogs get out.
Sixth, dogs also get slower in cold weather.
It's a Good Thing.

--Laura

faults i've found

I don't remember birthdays. I can be gullible. I have a facial expression that, when you see it, says, "I think you are a moron." I don't know exactly what it is, because I've never seen it. Honestly, I'm not usually thinking that when people think I'm thinking it.

I don't share what I'm thinking with most people. People don't know when I dislike them. Useful skill. But many don't know when I like them either, or how much I need them when I do.

I need help when I act the most stubbornly independent, because that's when I'm the most afraid I can't figure something out. I act the most mysterious when I most want to be understood. I'm pretty sure this has lost me several friends. I'm guessing it has lost me more than that.

I don't know how to fix it.

--Laura

employee of the universe

suck it, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

I was the only one who bothered to go in today. It wasn't because I wanted to or because I value martyrdom. It was because while my company would regret that I couldn't get in, they wouldn't have paid me. And I am the only employee in the office who's in that boat.

Okay, persecution complex MAYBE.

---Laura

the double edged life

I learned a valuable lesson in the new year. Having financial debt when I did cost me what I never wanted to lose. It made me weak when I needed to be able to step out and grab for the kind of life I really wanted.
Today, I feel left behind. Proud that I have learned from my mistake. Pained that I have learned so late.

-Laura

New Bird

Dark-Eyed Junco, slate colored race, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

By the way, during New Year's I identified a new visitor to my feeders. It's a Dark-eyed Junco. I've never seen them here, so I'm assuming they are passing through.

I've learned a lot this year.

-Laura

Sunshine on my shoulder

Sunshine on my shoulder, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

It was 19 degrees when I woke up this morning. Not a day for outdoor sports. But I had a new birding pole, which you can barely see in the picture above. I found the 3lb hammer, I shoved it in the ground, I tried unsuccessfully to break the water in the water dish I have for the birds, then filled all the feeders and went inside. That done, I kept myself busy indoors. I made suet. I made a big pot of vegetable stew with brown rice. I made a cake. I planted lettuce in a window planter.

But the sunshine was great outside, it really wanted to lure us outside to play. So I left the front door open to see what the dogs would do. Mollie was mostly interested in action - squirrels, cats, birds. I won't say Petey wasn't, but his treat was laying there in the sun until he got so hot he was panting. Really.

It was a sweet, quiet, homey way to end the holiday season. I even washed the front door's glass so I could take pictures through it. And that's when it felt like a new year to me -- I don't usually leave the front door open because it exposes the livingroom to passersby. But there were no passersby today, and the dogs loved it. I don't usually have a bird feeder in the front yard, but there are dozens of birds who sit in my dogwood trees all day.

Things can be different. Different can be good. The quiet can illuminate. It was refreshing. The good mood might just last me through lunchtime on Monday.

--Laura