heathen holiday

This has been an interesting month in the national landscape - embroiled in a healthcare debate I find both vital and frustrating.
Listening to people on television has been a struggle. Listening to friends has been, at times, even worse.
When I lived in Boulder, I was often chastised -- too southern to be educated, too white to be sensitive to the plight of people "of color," a term coined because we were all too sensitive to define anyone by something as abitrary as skin color -- unless of course THEY defined themselves by skin color, in which case it was okay, as long as they weren't expressing racial self-hatred. At themselves. I know, tricky, huh?
I remember the day I learned that a southern accent branded me as mildly retarded, and I also remember the day I learned that people were actually more helpful to mildly retarded white girls, and how to use this to my advantage.
Point is, I was definitely not a liberal in Boulder. And now I live in Georgia, and I'm still out of place. Too liberal to live in a red state, too Roman Catholic to live in the Bible Belt, too much of a hippy to be a real catholic anyway. Who knows where I even belong?
And I'll admit something. I'm usually okay not belonging too strongly to any one group. But right now, as the wagons are circling and camps are being formed, your allegiance is assumed. It's hard, even when you are comfortable in knowing your own mind, to be surrounded by people you disagree with and not feel like a fraud -- like you wandered into a foreign camp looking for a warm campfire, so you swallow the soup and nod a lot.
Right now, it's getting harder and harder to nod. Because right now, I pretty much don't share anyone's opinion. I don't think Obama is looking out for all his democrat friends. I don't think he's out to kill the elderly. I'm not of the opinion that my son should leave the army rather than serve under THIS president. I mean seriously, can you explain that one to me? You WANT your son to serve under a president who sends us to war, but when a president who wants to end the war is elected, you're scared THEN?
Right.
So as everyone gears up for the fall season with a sense of purpose and renewal, I feel a little left behind. Because I need a holiday from walking through the hall, avoiding the people waiting to leap on me and tell me all about their Obama Fears.
I'm taking a Heathen Holiday.
Is it the right move? I don't know. I was hit by surprise when it started happening -- the encounters in the gathering area of the church with cute little old ladies telling me how terrible our president was, how frightened they were. They are older than me. I can't chastise an elder. I don't have enough mileage on my shoes to do that.
So I'm taking a Heathen Holiday. I need a break from it. They don't need me around for a while, because I've only been Present In Name Only (PINO) anyway. With a little Heathen Holiday, I think I can get myself together, and reappear as myself.
Now, when I figure out THAT mystery, I will let you know.
--Laura