Kids Change Things

I pasted these pictures together because they have to be viewed together to be fully appreciated.

When dad traveled across country, he was in drill sergeant mode. Up early, say 2-3 am. He'd do that to have several hours under the wheel before the sun came up. Then when the driving was the worst with rush hour, he'd stop for breakfast. When rush hour traffic died down, he'd be back on the road. There would be drinks and sandwiches in tupperware containers in the back, because he'd never stop for dinner, and past the lunch hour he'd never stop period unless he was filling up with gas. Dinner was never bought at a restaurant, because that was the most expensive meal to buy on the road.

In short, that is how he rolled.

Then I came along. And at first, the practice continued. I would be piled in the back with blankets, and mom would navigate. I was too young to really care.

This particular day I woke from a sound sleep and said, "I need to potty NOW," with the demanding voice only a three year old can muster. Mom said, "You'd better find that child a tree."

But just because I was sleepy didn't mean I wanted my butt photographed. Sometimes the papparazzi is just unsatiable, I swear.

Last night I had a conversation with a friend. His daughter is six, and he was sharing in excruciating detail all the things that went into getting his daughter through a dance rehearsal. Truly non-daddy activities, like finding the sign-in table located in some random room of a large highschool, dealing with hair ribbons, pouting adult dance instructors and the disorganization which comes with a room full of dozens of little darlings under the age of seven.

For some reason, I was reminded of my own dad. Like the time he was the only dad on my Kindergarten field trip. I wonder if he thought all those moms were disorganized too, and if he wished he could be somewhere - ANYWHERE - else during the "Find your buddy and make sure you are holding hands!" part of the instructions. I'm sure he felt pretty out of place too, now that I look back on it.

My friend is a single dad, so he doesn't have the luxury of leaving his daughter at rehearsal to get food while mom waits on her. He has to play the parent in tune with the disorganized adults and the very real demands of a tired and hungry little girl, who is truly too tired and hungry for a late evening dance rehearsal. So while the stories about the instructor are funny on one level, I can see how it would be difficult for a single parent to handle both at one time. It would be nice after all to deal with one thing at a time, rather than divide your energies between a child who needs dinner and an adult who wants your "full cooperation" if you're not paying attention to them.

Life. Exhausting sometimes.

At the end of the day though, kids seem to have the ability to remind you of one thing. We're all people, just trying to muddle through without leaving too much butt exposed. And if you're paying attention, kids can also teach you what's more important than arriving at your destination on time and under budget. They show you that it's important to stop for a while to get your tummy filled and your bladder emptied. Because truth be told, the plans we make really aren't the point of life at all. The time we take to stop and care for others... I think we all know that is really the point of it all. That's where our best memories are made. It's the present, and that's where healthy people live.

This picture is a perfect example. It doesn't portary my dad racing down the road at 2am. It's a picture taken during a break from all that. That's the time, be it a potty break or the moment at the end of the day when you're washing the goop and glitter of ballerina practice from your child's hair, where you rest, heal from the indignities you suffered that day, and find your purpose. And your joy.

My wish for everyone who reads this: Enjoy your day.

--Laura Burke