Ready set go

Travel sized toiletries are so cute.
Standby seats are filling fast for the flight out.
Nerves ensue!

What a Trip

Finally, back home. Later than expected. Mom is with me and I have a pot of soup cooking. Hopefully it will be done by morning for lunch. If not, life will go on.
With mixed feelings, we have left dad behind. The weekend staff at this rehab facility would not get a green light from me. Mom is in agreement and will be making some pointed calls on Monday.
But we are spent. Mom had to come with me. She is exhausted and I believe her visit will do lots of good. I hope so. She had nothing left at the end of this week, and I can see why. What a roller coaster.
So dad faces rehab and life outside the cocoon of family.
Here comes the lessons, for all of us. School is in session.

--Laura

Replacement Parts

NOW AVAILABLE, originally uploaded by lalapapawawa.

My dad had his total knee replacement surgery on Monday. Both parents insisted I not be there. I could see their point. My parents have an amazing community of friends. It has always seemed to me, in the past, that mom was the social glue in our family. She was the one who made the introductions and the friends. But this is not the case here. Both mom and dad have skin the game, and both participate in their community.

So, the last time I was in a hospital with them, those people were there, keeping us company whle mom had her bypass surgery. This time, I knew they'd be just as attentive to my mom, while dad went through his surgery.

The results was a mixed bag. First and foremost, the knee surgery was successful. The doctor remarked that he should have had it five years ago, that there was so much mess behind his kneecap that it took lots of cleaning. But underneath that, solid bone. The day after surgery, the old man was up on his feet. And walking. And that's something.

Unfortunately, it seems dad also suffered a heart attack. He displayed an inverted T-wave and elevated enzyme levels, and during surgery he sweated down on the table. He was kept in ICU to monitor his levels before being released to a regular room. We are hopeful that it will not result in too much damage. So far, he's been without symptoms.

So this month gives me alot to be thanful for. I have great folks celebrating my birthday with me. My dad begins a new, less painful chapter in his life and all seems to be moving forward. The boss I had back in college tracked me down the last few weeks, and I've been able to reconnect with a really good guy. In three days, I will be driving my mom back to my house for a nice visit while dad does his rehab. It sounds like it may be shorter than we originally expected, but for all the right reasons. And in a little over a week, I will be exploring vistas two time zones away from here, even if just for a weekend.

More on that later. I have some packing to do.

The coolest geek dad ever

Who wants to get adopted by this dad?

What's it about?

I turned 40 this weekend.

I believe that people need a month to fully appreciate their birthday, thus my classification of this as my Birthday Month.

Happily, I will be filling the month with Good Things. Celebrations with friends. Things for myself I haven't done in a while. Taking advantage of the weather with hikes exploring Georgia.

In the middle of this, my dad will be getting a total knee replacement. I love him and I know it's going to hurt. But I am sure of one thing. It won't be worse than the pain he's in now. The surgery is unavoidable. Plus, I really want a better life for him. While dad is in rehab, mom will be my roommate.

Added to that, I will be meeting new people this month. There will be a long overdue trip to Colorado for Halloween. And on this trip, unless there's a blizzard, I will go birding in another time zone.

This year has involved lots of trial and error for me. I've set deadlines for myself. Aside from the financial goals, I've missed every target. That's been more than discouraging.

I presume most people reading this blog have encountered situations beyond their control. The feeling of powerlessness over that situation is one I don't wish on anyone, just as I realize, like the knee surgery, that it's unavoidable. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine quit his job. The bank will take his truck and house. His dad rented him a car and he moved to Florida with distinctly less than $1000 in his pocket. He is prepared to live with friends. He is prepared to work at a grocery store. And despite the desparation in that act, it carried the scent of temptation all over it. How easy would it be? And me, with distinctly more than $1000 in my pocket. Couldn't I go balls to the walls and make that happen? Wouldn't people applaud my guts?

I have worked hard to be more responsible. After the applause fades, I have no free ride to the next chapter of my life. There's no reassuring security of a special person or place waiting for me when I turn the page. I panic about this. I am not perversely opposed to companionship. I don't have the spirit of a gypsy. Why aren't I irresistible? What's taking so long? This is but a sample of what runs through my head.

Then, I take a step back. I notice wheels turning. I notice people who'd never view me as more than a designer describing my bird store, because of things I've said. Random conversations reveal previously unknown sources of support and resolutions for conflict. Dots connect. Even though it feels like I'm waiting, I'm not. I'm becoming who I want to be, even here and now.

I'm not hesitating at the edge of a finished bridge. I'm building a new freaking bridge. It doesn't take longer because I'm slow and lazy. It doesn't take longer because I doubt where this bridge is headed. It just takes longer to build a new bridge, period.

You may not find anything interesting in this bridge building. Believe me, some planks are more pleasant to nail down than others. My theory though is that if you're reading this, you have some interest in the outcome. You may just hope that I succeed. Maybe you even have an attraction for good craftsmanship that takes time and patience to put together.

If so, I have an excellent person you have to meet: Me. Don't miss the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of this seriously rewarding investment.

--Laura - now in her 40th year--

fall

One of the best things about fall, when there are so many nice things about fall: Your bed stops being uncomfortable like it was in the summer, with the ceiling fan whirring above your head just to keep the room tolerable. Instead, your bed is the perfect temperature, with the weight of the covers keeping YOU at the perfect temperature.

It makes it sooo hard to willingly get up in the morning. So hard.