i want you to be happy

I think that's one of the most loaded comments I've ever heard. I want you to be happy.
You have to listen to it in context. Possible qualifiers include:
Because you're not making me happy, but...
Because I can't figure out why you're doing this, but if you can live with the outcome...
Because I just don't get you at all...
Or, most inncently, I know you're not happy now, so... do what will make you happy, because...
I want you to be happy...
I think part of the reason I find the comment so loaded is because it's common for me to gauge my happiness by how others feel. In other words, if the people around me are comfortable and happy, so am I. Does this sound like the perfect recipe for becoming a doormat? Maybe. I think for me, it has become a way to give control to others for something I don't feel I can figure out on my own. What makes me happy? Darned if I know. Am I supposed to keep walk away from things that don't make me happy until I find what does?
I don't think so.
I think finding out what makes you happy involves shifting that energy I've used listening to others and listen to myself. Do I like the job I have, for example? Why? Why not? If the people at work are happy with you, that doesn't have to mean that you're happy. If your employer doesn't want to have to find or train another You, that shouldn't be reason enough to happy with your job. It would make sense that by now, they are comfortable with you. While you may not be a perfect fit for them either, you're filling the role you're supposed to fill. So, entertain the idea that there's someone out there who's a better fit for that role, and there's something out there that you'd be happier with too.
I'm getting closer each day to making a happiness move. It's been hard to stick it out until I could do so without putting myself in financial jeopardy. The rewards, however, have been significant. I hope they will be longlasting and fruitful.
I want to be happy, not because everyone else around me is happy with me. For myself.

-Laura