dropped jaw's aftermath

Recently, Petey, my oldest dog, developed a condition called Dropped Jaw. A nerve controls the jaw muscle, and as some dogs age, it swells, and the jaw stops working. Treatment? Wait 1-3 weeks and see if it clears up, because that's basically all you can do.
Petey's better now. I think he eats more slowly, but is otherwise back to his old self. But it was a surreal 2 weeks. Getting Petey enough food and water became... involved. First, I ground up his dry food with chicken broth and eggs. Then we went to canned. Then, soft dry food. And water? Well, I watered him with a turkey baster (which I promise I will never use again at Thanksgiving). Then, I crushed ice for him.
He's lucky he recovered, or I think he'd be living with my mom.
At this point, I'd love to explain that my healthy dog was nice to my sick dog. But she wasn't. Mollie was devastated by all the attention Petey got. She was inconsolable.
That got me thinking. Yes, Mollie is a bit of a brat. But she was responding to being ignored. She was responding to a feeling of neglect. And there's no explaining the whys to a dog.
I think this is true with people too though. People need friends and loved ones. Your friends and loved ones need you. Sometimes you may think that's not true. But if they've invested enough in you to be there when you needed them, then it is true. You're important to them, and they want to believe that you've made some room for them in your heart.
So why don't you make room for them? The reasons can be varied, can't they? You might be stressed. You might be overwhelmed. You might think you aren't needed. I don't know. But the point is, they don't know either. They are just left wondering why you're different now, and what they did to deserve it.
Ask yourself how you'd feel, please. Then ask yourself why you'd do that to them. I warn you though, you might prepare yourself for some initial resistence. Mollie chewed a few of my pillows. Staying persistent though, has its own rewards. When your loved one stuck through hard times with you, they came through it caring for you more. You might just find out that the same thing happens to you.
The worst thing that could happen is, you spare yourself a few emotional bruises, and you gain a healthy friendship. Those are hard to come by.

--Laura

wild geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

--Mary Oliver

the best places

Recently a few of my friends lost parents, and that thought crossed my mind today because today is my mom's birthday. So, as I usually note such momentous events with a blog entry, I thought about what to say.
Thing is, I find myself in an enviable position. Everything I might have said about my mother, I've already said to my mother. She's awesome. I tell people at work about my mom, and they have requested that I bring her for show and tell. When someone has a mysterious medical diagnosis, I call her from work for a consult. She babysits my dogs and they don't want me anymore.
Happy Birthday mom, and I hope it was great. I feel really lucky to find myself in one of the best places we could ever be - good friends.

--Laura

the new year slowdown

Last Saturday I was at mass and noticed a member of our parish, a man who is also a volunteer with the St. Vincent de Paul Society, closing the food pantry closet. In his hands, a big bag of groceries. A single bag.
I volunteered some hours with the St. Vincent de Paul society when my work schedule allowed it. This group offers assistance to people in need all over the county - assistance with heating bills or groceries - and as a source of information about other available resources within the community. They do good work for people. So I know from experience that the rule of thumb is to provide a bag of groceries for each family member. The fact that he walked out with a single bag was telling. It means our pantry doesn't have it in stock to give, not like they have in the past.
I don't mention the SVdP to ask for a donation. You probably know a legitimate charity in your area. You may not find the idea of contributing to a faith-based charity appealing. But you know of something, and if you know, I urge you to give. Just this evening, I received an email from the head of the SVdP in Atlanta. Here's what it said, in part:

Last year we helped 179,927 of our Georgia neighbors. We provided over $1.2 million in food, clothing, furniture and cars to people without. We disbursed more than $5.72 million for rent, utilities, food, and medical expenses. 4141 volunteers gave 317,502 hours of their time. We did all this and more while maintaining our administrative expense ratio under 8%. Over 92% of your donations go directly to those in need! This time of the year is especially difficult for many due to the cold and the lack of seasonal work. And for us the donations that keep us doing what we must do tend to slow down as well.

I know quite a few of those volunteers. I'm proud of the work they do. I would remind you -- the needs of your neighbors continue in 2010. Find your outlet. Plug in. Remember those in need.

-- Laura